Lightning.

I have been complaining about having nothing to write for the past five hours.

I always thought not very much of those bands that Chloe (a huge fan of BVB) listens to. Though, one person, caught my eye, Andy Biersack. I always thought "Boy, they send such good messages, but it probably isn't my style." I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong. What he said during an interview, it just struck me, like lightning. And everything he said was, well, glorious. Like that the smartest people could inform themselves. Or that there are no rules you need to follow or of the like, like saying oh you can stay strong as long as you love Jesus. And he made this band because their were no rich, rock characters with a message he could relate to. He said that if you wanted to dress like a giraffe every day to school if that's what you wanted. And I loved how he said that with all seriousness. They're not religious, nor Satanic. The message was to always be yourself. A smile crept onto his face as someone told him that the band was nearly a religious figure, saying that if a kid would have to think opf it as that, then he'd rather that than listening to some band without a message. And as for suicide, is that no matter how dark it gets, you have to find a personal strength. Those other bands don't mention any of that, and life is good, you just have to make it that way. You have to find strength within yourself to rise out of the darkness. He said strong people will rise out of it. I will be one of those strong people. He talked about one of their albums, that we return from our lives, from work and school, wounded because people will try to knock us down, and wound us, and at the end of the day, we stitch ourselves up and get back on the battle field.

I haven't been very consistent with updating this blog, but I have written a buttload, and I really want to publish these journals that I write in as books, and I want them to read it and know that, when I make it, they are the reason that the book will merely exist.

summer so far!

So, first of all, I would like to say Happy Fourth of July!

                                  ヾ（＠＾▽＾＠）ノ

And, I have been really lazy with my blog posts, so I will make this one long! 

So, I always write in my journal, and I have finished the one I have been using during last school year, and I'm on my new notebook now. 

I have been hanging out with my friend, Jadyn, who lives a house away from me. And the other day, Jadyn and her older sister came over and me and my sister were hanging out with them. They spent the night, and then we started to listen to some rap music and hip hop. We ended up making a dance group called Galaxy's Outcasts. We practice with each other very often, and we are learning 'Talk Dirty to Me.' 

I am really sad though. I started shipping a new couple that is unusual (erejean =yaoi), but what is sad is that how much hate is thrown at erejean haters. I wanna draw some fanart that shows Jean holding Eren while he cries because of of those stupid haters!

 ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻.   （╯°□°）╯︵( .o.).  (≧０≦)

I recently started listening to this new kpop band, GOT7. I am already in love with them~ (/^▽^)/. I am trying really hard to memorize all of their names. My favorite is Jackson, the rapper. I ship him and Mark. And my sister's favorite is JB. The funny thing was that when me and the dance group where watching a reality/game show with GOT7 in it, everyone kept saying BJ instead of JB. ⊙ω⊙ (*≧▽≦)

We also recently went to Knoebels too. I got some Hello Kitty things too. I bought a wallet, some pencils, and an eraser kit. We stayed the night at a Bed and Breakfast, and my sister (for some reason) brought nail polish and painted her nails. My mum went into the bathroom and didn't know that my sister hadn't screwed the lid tight, so it splattered all over! We tried to clean it up, and in the end, we had to tell the owners, but I doubt that we will ever be going to another bed and breakfast because of that.... 

Yesterday, my sister gave me a whole bunch of new drawnibg pencils she had never used much, and  I started to draw this picture of a random guy. 

I was gonna download some pictures of my drawing and wallet and stuff, but it doesn't seem to be working, so I will do it later. 

{5 minutes later...} Oh my freaking god, my WiFi has been so screwy! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)  So it suddenly disconnected, and I had thought that I had lost everything that I had wrote... I nearly died. ٩◔̯◔۶. 

Well, until next time! Bye~ and have a happy 4th of July!

(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)

journal

I'm just gonna type what i put in my journal. 

6/16/14 

Questions around me, why do they always surround me? I am listening to,  but my mind is talking over you.  So don't expect me to listen to your nonsense.  

What if it's true, what if this is all that I can be? But what if it's you?  What do you want from me? 

Reality = bullshit. 

You know, at first I was afraid of writing swearwords in here but now, I don't give a fuck.  If you dislike it, then leave.

Please stop slapping me in the face with those harsh words you spit.

I hope that you are happy when you make me sad?

I hope you know you make my life a living hell.

I don't know how I am smiling while writing this.

I hope you burn in hell, because I want you to feel the same pain you make others feel.

I hope I get to witness when Karma makes you suffer. 

Call me evil, but this is how I feel. 

I really do hope you know.

Sometimes I ignore you, so I feel in control. But really, I adore you, and I can't leave you alone. 

Artist

I also draw stuff, so I just thought it would be cool to show everyone some pictures. These are just some of my water color pieces that I made recently. Hope you like them!

Dwp

So, I signed up for this daily writing prompt (I will leave the link) and I just wanted to share one of my entries. Today my writing prompt was to write a scene describing the contents of someone's backpack. Lee Jong Suk: I was known as the school nerd. Smart, quiet, and reserved. It was true, I disliked loud and disruptive people. I grabbed my backpack, which consisted of 5 mystery books,1 mystery, 2 romance and 3 on anatomy, and got on my bike. When I reached my destination, the library, there was a lot of people, and a group of news reporters. I got closer, and saw that they were hosting a 'book appreciation' festival. I tried to dodge the news reporters, but someone called out. "Excuse me sir, but we would like to ask you some questions. Would that be okay?" I didn't want to, but I didn't want to be thought of as a grouchy prick."Yeah, sure.", I said. "So, I assuming that you enjoy reading books. Why do you like reading them?" Well, If I am gonna say anything, I might as well be honest. "To be honest, what I think is that we can learn about this cruel world we live in, without actually getting pain. You get to experince things, without suffering consequences.

Well, I am back.

I have changed a lot. Figured out I was bisexual,  got super depressed and died inside quite a bit. When I was at school, I used to just act happy, and try to please people. Well, I broke. Now I am that mean girl who is angry and depressed all the time, at everybody and the world. I wasn't made to please people and be happy. Fuck that. Seldom when I am smiling, it is genuine. I hate faking my smiles but I do it all the time. So, I will be posting snippets of my life, my journal, and stuuf like that. Bye!

Doubts

Hey guys! So sorry i haven't blogged in so long! (though i higly doubt anyone even reads my blog...)   And thats part of the problem .Recently, i also posted something similar at Asianfanfics.com , concerning somethings about me and my activity. It's alittle different, but the main ideas the same.  

                                              I was discouraged  . 

How? Well, if you haven't noticed, i haven't posted in a while and i feel that blogging is gonna be a waste of my time if nobody reads it. So, if there is anybody out there who reads this, then tell me! 

                        I used to be what i call a "silent reader" , as in you read something online, but you don't make it known to the author that you read there blog, or article or story,etc.